You’re so stupid
I can’t believe you wrote that, it doesn’t even make sense
Why can’t you just be normal in social situations and not trip over your words and act flustered?
I hope you’re not thinking about wearing that, it doesn’t look good at all.
How many times have you said any of the above sentences or similar sentences to a loved one, colleague or friend?
I’m guessing probably never.
Now, how many times have you said any of the above or something like it to yourself ? If you’re anything like me and a majority of the population, I’m guessing quite a lot.
Why we do we speak to ourselves in ways in which we would never dream of speaking to other people?
I have noticed for a long time that I am very self-critical, judgemental of myself and basically have a lot of negative self-talk. I made a conscious decision at the beginning of the year to start trying to catch myself when I have these negative thoughts and try and say something positive to myself in instead. I recently had a wonderful coaching session with Vicky Shilling and I realised that my negative self-talk is holding me back from so many things, the very same things that I would encourage friends and loved ones to go out and pursue.
Self-love, self-care, and being kind to yourself are phrases and hashtags that are popular on social media and whilst they may seem a bit woo for some, I do think that they are incredibly important things for us to practice. Increasingly we are bombarded with images on social media and we then compare our lives to others this can, especially for me, trigger or increase negative self-talk. And for someone who already suffers from anxiety, comparison can tend to have a negative effect on my mental health.
I’m starting to focus on being kinder to myself.
So my focus for the rest of the year is to be kinder to myself. I am trying to catch any negative self-talk and replace it with a positive approach. For instance, instead of ‘I can’t believe you still can’t do that pose in yoga’ I’ll try to say to myself ‘look how far you’ve come in yoga since first starting your journey, there is so much you can do already’.
Will it be easy? Nope! I’ve not found it easy so far, however negative self-talk isn’t a new thing for me nor many others I suspect. Like any new habits which need to be formed it will take time, but it was one habit I’m more than ready to include in my life.
I’d love to know how are feel about this subject? Is it something you can relate to? Do you have any tools you use to practice for more positive self-talk?
Health & happiness Rebecca